crappy haiku movie review of the week - return of the living dead

as we all know, there's no shortage of movie review sites out there on the web. but who among us hasn't longed for movie reviews in the form of really crappily done japanese poetry? i know i sure have!

so once a week, i'll be dedicating a journal entry to a movie review in the form of a really crappy haiku.

today's halloween classic so impressed stephenie meyer when she first saw it that she was inspired to write her own zombie horror drama comedy teen romance novel - due next year - in which an awkward, dark-haired girl falls madly in love with an angsty, hundred year old zombie named...um...schmedward...schmullen. annoyed at first by schmedward's persistent habit of being, like, totally undead, the girl, schmella, eventually realizes that she and schmedward are schmoulmates...uh, i mean soulmates. and besides, this being the stephenie meyer universe, being undead's actually not so bad. for example, in meyer's story, the zombies' skin is sparkly and smooth instead of rotting and stinky like regular zombies. also, in this story the zombies don't eat human flesh. they eat sushi! so basically in smeyer's world, being a zombie is a lot like being a cast member of the hills. oh you horrifying, sexy zombies, you. - it's return of the living dead!

return of the living dead

zombies ditch their graves

and run amok through the town

please hand them your brains

the end

p.s. feel free to hit me up with any suggestions, and you might just get to see one of your favorite movies summed up in a really crappy haiku...

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Comments (20)

	Why so Sirius(Black)?: 10/26/2009 11:42 AM I can't wait to read Schmella and Schmedward's story! xP "please hand them your brains" favorite part! you just brightened up my night ;D
	sappysuperunknown10: 10/26/2009 11:42 AM I think I'd actually like the cast of The Hills a bit more if they were zombies. But just a bit, they're far too annoying. Great haiku :D
	starlorsummers: 10/26/2009 12:07 PM yarastien said: I can't wait to read Schmella and Schmedward's story! xP "please hand them your brains" favorite part! you just brightened up my night ;D haha that's my fave part too :) thank you! sappysuperunknown10 said: I think I'd actually like the cast of The Hills a bit more if they were zombies. But just a bit, they're far too annoying. Great haiku :D being a zombie is 1 skazillion times less scary than being a cast member of the hills :D
	Nessi with an I: 10/26/2009 12:16 PM Please hand them your brains! FTW
	Reverie3: 10/26/2009 1:40 PM Sushi, LOL!!!
	skintight: 10/26/2009 2:06 PM SEND MOAR PARAMEDICS
	Gabriel's Gonna Rollerblade: 10/26/2009 2:11 PM zombie jesus approves of this thread
	jesuschrist: 10/26/2009 2:23 PM Really? That isn't funny at all. I don't even look like that. I wasn't even dead long enough to have the flesh rot like that, either. Shouldn't you be off listening to Enya or something? GROW UP.
	Neil Patrick Harris: 10/26/2009 3:18 PM "being a zombie is a lot like being a cast member of the hills. oh you horrifying, sexy zombies, you" best thing ever
	Gabriel's Gonna Rollerblade: 10/26/2009 3:52 PM LOL Jesus U MAD?
	god: 10/26/2009 3:55 PM lolz
	candle 1988: 10/26/2009 6:42 PM So will Schmedward and Schmella have a half zombie baby too?
	0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3: 10/26/2009 10:01 PM "Please hand them your brains." Uhh... I don't think so. Those zombies can go shove it. =/ P.S. I really don't like zombies. XD
	starlorsummers: 10/26/2009 11:45 PM candl1988 said: So will Schmedward and Schmella have a half zombie baby too? yup, schmenesme :) xxsupersophiexx said: "Please hand them your brains." Uhh... I don't think so. Those zombies can go shove it. =/ P.S. I really don't like zombies. XD i don't like them either. i'm actually kinda scared of them even though i know they're not real. i'm not too crazy about werewolves either.
	0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3: 10/26/2009 11:51 PM starlorsummers said: i don't like them either. i'm actually kinda scared of them even though i know they're not real. i'm not too crazy about werewolves either. Really? Everyone I know is all like "OMG ZOMBIES!!! SO AWESOME!!!" meanwhile I'm sitting there going "Dude... no." And I'm fucking terrified of them. Like, I cried pretty much all of the way through Shaun of the Dead, and had nightmares afterwards, even though that movie is hilarious. =/
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