crappy haiku movie review of the week - heathers

as we all know, there's no shortage of movie review sites out there on the web. but who among us hasn't longed for movie reviews in the form of really crappily done japanese poetry? i know i sure have!

so once a week, i'll be dedicating a journal entry to a movie review in the form of a really crappy haiku.

coming this fall to a television set near you...it's the brand new game show from fox that is so, so very. it's who wants to get revenge on heather chandler! watch every week as regis philbin hosts four contestants and challenges them get back at heather chandler for being, like, such a total bitch to them. like just the other day in the hallway when they were flirting with that cute guy and heather walked by and was all "oh my god, i love your dress! it looks so...slimming on you!" i mean, what even?? watch as contestants from all over ohio engage in a battle of wits for the chance to like, totally make heather drink orange juice and milk when she has a hangover or something. yeah, that'll show her! and don't forget angsty co-host christian slater, who makes sure that every show goes out with a bang - it's heathers!

heathers

heather is a douche

they make her drink drain cleaner

oops! she's sorta dead

the end

p.s. feel free to hit me up with any suggestions, and you might just get to see one of your favorite movies summed up in a really crappy haiku...

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Comments (10)

	Queen Of Cydonia: 10/19/2009 2:24 PM I love this movie! "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw." People quote "Mean Girls" a lot, but this movie has just as many quotable lines that are funny as hell. Oh, and ossum HIYKOO! :D
	0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3: 10/19/2009 2:35 PM LOL "Oops, she's sorta dead." Though I have to say, I watched this film a while ago, and was somewhat underwhelmed with it. =/
	candle 1988: 10/19/2009 3:13 PM I'm literally LOL! She is only sorta dead, not like all the way dead!
	sappysuperunknown10: 10/19/2009 3:33 PM Thanks for reminding me I've been meaning to watch this movie since forever! I must go rent it soon, I'm sure it'll bring teh lulz, just like this haiku :D
	starlorsummers: 10/19/2009 3:40 PM xxsupersophiexx said: LOL "Oops, she's sorta dead." Though I have to say, I watched this film a while ago, and was somewhat underwhelmed with it. =/ yeah, it wasn't as funny as, say, mean girls, even though they're similar movies. it has a much darker tone to it, but it has some of the same elements like the snappy dialogue and such. and thanks everyone!
	Reverie3: 10/19/2009 3:58 PM I just love your reviews and haikus! Here's another movie I need to go rent! :D
	Andi.: 10/19/2009 5:34 PM HELL YES. I love Heathers. Rhianna and I watched it before going to a concert one night, i couldn't stop quoting it for like a month.
	renata aka helen: 10/31/2009 7:11 PM i wanna hear you talk like that in RL. heathers seems to be experiencing a rebirth in popularity lately...
	echolovesnarcissus: 11/05/2009 1:08 PM Ahahaha, I've never seen it, but you make it seem a lot more appealing than it probably is.
	iska: 11/13/2009 12:00 PM "Oops! She's sorta dead" - LMAO xD AWESOME!